I went to sleep last night drowning in my own sorrows. A quarter full bottle of beer by my bedside, dirty plates on the tabletop.
What a sad existence.
I managed to make my way earlier yesterday afternoon to a nearby radio tower. There, I was able to ride the frequency and sound out an AM frequency message.
"My name... is Dick Bawls. I am alone. I am broadcasting this on all AM frequencies in hopes that someone will hear this message. If you are out there and you haven't been RAPED, you can find me at the corner where the two rivers meet. Where is that, you ask? I have no idea. It sounds totally Red Indian though. Peace out."
I lay in wait last night... hoping. Wanting, for someone to pick up the frequency.
No one came.
Until noon today.
I heard voices. At first, I dismissed it as the early onset of disillusion. It definitely couldn't have been my mushroom. It was an evil mute bastard.
And then I heard it again. Slowly, ever so slowly, I began to open my door. Then I saw them! A whole group of them that just arrived across the channel. They hailed from a land called Atlanta, Georgia.
It was the land of the milk chocolate coloured leader!
Whaddup, nigga?
Alas, I performed mandatory preliminary tests on them and realised they only had 2 and a half weeks before they were to be RAPED.
I must abandon them. Is there to be no reprieve in my torment?
It's a Saturday. Way back then, my Saturdays were bustling with activity. I used to go visit the market every now and then. Now, the market square is, too, devoid of life. Pitiful.
My days all look the same now. I keep myself busy by swimming in the reservoir and watching whatever television that appears on the loop by chance.
What's that now? How do I feed myself?
I hunt.
With my mushroom by my side, I hunt for prey that has overrun the city. You'd find food in the most forsaken of places. Just yesterday, I found a deer cowering in Starbucks. I grabbed a Light Coffee Frappuccino right after shooting it down. Good times.
But on to more pressing matters. I discovered something today. I merely dismissed it as my eyes playing tricks on me. But then I began noticing it all around the city.
They were humanoid looking things, darting around looking at me. I must be extremely good looking or something.
One popped out to say Hi.
Meet Steve.
He's one of the more decent ones. We talked a bit over tea and crumpets and he explained a few things about the world.
They are basically people that have been RAPED so bad that they turned inside out. That's why they look so ghastly looking. And they're jealous of my good looks. So they continue watching me and hunting me.
In truth, I prefer to believe that I am their saviour.
hohohoho. ;D
But I allow them to think the way they do.
Because I'm the hero they deserve. But not the one they need right now.
So they'll hunt me.
Because I can take it. Because I'm not their hero.
I'm a silent guardian, a watchful protector.
I am...
No, not a building with a burning bat on it.
The DARK KNIGHT.
hoho.
